Newsweek magazine* estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are in a sexless relationship.
Researching statistics for this article was pretty depressing.
Americans today are having less [sex] than Americans a decade ago. (Archives of sexual behavior)
Why would this be? My first guess was Donald Trump. Haha!
But a Time magazine article called “How much sex should you have every week” speculates that Netflix is (partially) to blame. It seems we have a lot more to do with our free time these days. Ahem.
How are we feeling about less sex?
Almost 2/3 of us don’t feel we have sex often enough.
That means wherever you fall on the sex-frequency-per-week spectrum, you may want to up your game.
This Valentine’s Day, consider tidying up the ol’ bedroom. It couldn’t hurt, right?
Here’s a list of 5 things to easily declutter from your bedroom today:
#1 Pictures of your parents
Let’s start with photos of parents and other family members.
Sure, that photo is a great memory of the family cruise to Alaska. That’s nice. Now, PUT IT IN ANOTHER ROOM.
The same applies to photos of other authority figures in your life. Anyone you wouldn’t make out in front of in real life should NOT be staring at you in the bedroom, even from behind a frame.
#2 Work-related objects
If there’s anything in the bedroom which reminds you of your job, you are going to be thinking about work whether you mean to or not. The thought could pop up at any moment for you or your mate. Keep your mind on the task at hand and get rid of these:
- assignments that are due
- assignments that are done
- pictures of your boss (see above) or work events
- work-related books to be read
Ugg. So not-sexy. It’s hard enough to let thoughts of your job go and focus on foreplay without that brief sitting on the dresser. AMIRIGHT?
Unless you are breastfeeding or co-sleeping there should be very little evidence in the bedroom that you even HAVE children. This is where you do grown-up stuff and think grown-up thoughts. No legos allowed!
Even if your angel comes in to sleep with you at night, their toys don’t belong in your bedroom once the child is gone.
How about pictures of the kids and art they have made?
That’s up to you.
This is really the same category as work-related objects, but can be even more tricky. Many parents view caring for their children as our first (or second) job, along with the one we do at the office.
Clearing kids’ crap out of our bedrooms reinforces the idea that our relationships with our spouses deserve respect and attention.
These are items on your bedside table that do not say “sexy times” –used tissues, meds, self-help books. You get the idea. Try to keep that stuff off your bedside table, okay?
Smelly or gross stuff
Friends, I don’t even want to go in to what this category could contain. If it stinks or looks disgusting, handle it!
Think about your goals for your bedroom. What feelings do you want to feel in here?
I’m thinking :
Think of your list and ask yourself if each object in your bedroom is contributing to those feelings. If an item doesn’t fit the bill, put it away or get rid of it.
To really pump up the slow jams and increase your sex-having potential, leave your phone at the door because coitus interruptus is no fun. No TV, no laptop, and no tablets either.
Couples therapists agree with sleep experts on this issue — no screens in the bedroom.
Yes, I realize screens are the hardest thing to take out of the bedroom. It’s worth a try though.
Thanks for reading as always.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Watch this video from the Clutter Challenge to declutter your bedroom along with me in about 20 minutes. I don’t talk about sex in the video. But I’m thinking about it! ahaaaaa!
*I found this Newsweek quote on Wikipedia.
**Side note, did you know that Feb 15th is the most popular day of the year to break up? #truestory
How can that be? I have my theory. Tell me your theory in the comments.
Also published on Medium.